"We must continue to open in the face of tremendous opposition. No one is encouraging us to open and still we must peel away the layers of the heart”-Chögyam Trungpa, Rinpoche, Tibetan Buddhist master
Have you ever dug up soil only to find it riddled with worms?
In the moment you might be taken aback by the abundance of creatures you didn’t even know were there. Gardners know these worms have a purpose. They aerate the soil and help growth.
And so it is with our spiritual journey.
Once we begin to really look at what we believe in-a lot of amazing things come up. We begin to feel more powerful. Our life’s purpose starts to come into focus.
We may even feel a bit invincible for awhile. It feels amazing!
But then, inevitably, a boulder rolls into our path. Something happens to seriously disturb our peace. And we feel like we’ve landed smack dab back at square one.
This happened to me just the other day. I had been riding my spiritual high for several days when...SMACK!
I was having a conversation in one of my groups. After contributing I suddenly felt very insecure about what I’d said.
Did I say something untrue? I thought. Did I come off like a know-it-all? Did the person I was talking to think I was ridiculous and elementary?
I had found some worms in my soil.
The deal about spirituality is that it is very much like pealing the layers of an onion. There are always new layers to yourself you are constantly discovering. Just when you appreciate a new layer of understanding….you find there are many more in your heart to go.
Once I had discovered one deeper layer, I had simultaneously opened myself up to some vulnerabilities that co-existed with this layer deep in my belief system.
By seeing the good rich soil of the divinity within, I also found my deeply buried worms-self-doubt and uncertainty.
The good news is, like the worms, these seeds of doubt are actually beneficial-allowing us to birth the stronger plants of faith that are meant to grow within us. Acknowledging the worms releases us from the need to keep tilling this same soil-and allows them to move on to where they are needed next.
It is a process. We are a process. But the harvest we sow not only develops deep roots we can more easily depend on, but is also a testament to the beauty in you that is meant to grow and develop.
Each layer is a precious gift the world needs to see. Beautiful in its complexity and raw truth.