I have a secret.
A deep secret.
A Halloweeny-dark secret….
I suck at feelings.
There it is. Out in the open. Laid bare for you all to see. I’ll admit it. I totally suck at feelings.
What I mean by that is that it is SUPER hard for me to own my feelings.
And the way I’ve delt with them thusfar is, well, very Scary Movie. Here’s how:
1. I’ve tried pretending my feelings aren’t there. I’ve ignored them. Like a ghost
2. I’ve tried screaming and running in the other direction from them. Getting as far from them as I possibly can before I, inevitably, like a scary movie, trip over them.
3. I’ve even tried blaming them on someone else, asking them to deal with them. (like sending that poor soul down the stairs to check on the mysterious ‘noise’ afterwhich they never return).
These never work by the way. Even in the scary movies, our heroine never prevails using these techniques. They always result in misery or-even worse-complete immobilizing terror.
So what to do? How do I actually work through or sit in said scary feelings? Here’s my take. Wisdom from a, you guessed it, scary movie-Beatlejuice.
Beatlejuice is about a teenager who moves into a haunted house. The ghosts are trying to scare away the teenager & her family to get their house back. These ghosts invoke the help of a poltergeist, Betelgeuse (aka Beatlejuice) who is trying to find a way to reek havoc on the mortal world.
Long story short-Beatlejuice is no good. He is scary. He has ill intentions….Aaaand we sometimes feel this way about our feelings. I know I do.
What will happen if I let them out of the bag?!? Who might I hurt? What do I not really know about their intent?
But here’s the skinny, feelings actually start with a thought or a belief. They come from a place inside our minds. And, very much like Beatlejuice, their power is revoked when we speak them out loud. When we name them for what they are, without the nefarious story we think they might produce.
By naming our feelings it actually diminishes their scary. It takes away all the spooky & the mystery that surrounds the unknown. It can put the unknown into perspective. And it can help us to recognize the impermanence of the emotion as a part of our emotional landscape.
The funny part about scary movies is that, though they can be emotionally charged, there is always an end. Even when the ending isn’t what we expected, there is always some kind of a resolution.
And so it is with our feelings. Once they are out in the open. Once we can SEE their impermanence....they are really only another passing moment.
Let go. Don't be afraid. (oh & don't say Beatlejuice's name 3 times. I hear the insurance claims are to DIE for ; )
Happy Halloween Light workers!!!